Memo To: Andrew Card, White House Chief of Staff
From: Jude Wanniski
Re: Fire Christie Whitman
One of the things you will learn if you remain at the White House long enough, Andy, is that the forces of darkness never sleep. While you are working overtime trying to keep the Arab terrorists from blowing something else up within our borders, the eco-wackoes who have infiltrated the Bush administration are planting political bombs inside your own walls. Surely you remember President Bush reading a speech in Palookaville during the 2000 presidential campaign, promising to limit emissions of that well-known pollutant, carbon dioxide! Remember how surprised he seemed when he got to the words, stumbling over them, probably remembering being told in kindergarten that carbon dioxide is what we exhale when we inhale the air around us. It was the only time in the entire campaign that he mentioned “carbon dioxide,” but the sneaky greenies in the campaign had it on film and ever since the eco-wackoes at the New York Times editorial pages have been complaining that your boss BROKE HIS SACRED CAMPAIGN PLEDGE TO STAMP OUT CO2!!
Now the sneaks have done it again, Andrew, sending an official Bush administration document to the United Nations CONFESSING that mankind is the primary source of GLOBAL WARMING. The fact that it is a paper which the administration supposedly must file with the United Nations is no excuse for you allowing it to be put in the mail without reading it. It was a stupid thing for the administration to do, for the eco-wackoes at the New York Times have now pounced on it and will now make the President’s life miserable for the duration of his tenure. When I read the front page headline this morning at 6 a.m. on the driveway, where the newspaper had been delivered, I knew immediately you guys had been snookered again, and also knew the lead editorial would be kneeing you in the groin. Sure enough: “Crossroads on Global Warming” gleefully bashes your boss for having “repudiated a campaign pledge to seek firm limits on carbon dioxide, the main contributor to the warming of the earth’s atmosphere,” and one of the “four main pollutants.”
It is even worse that the sneaky greenies who sent off the UN report without your knowledge also announced that even though the United States is the biggest emitter of carbon dioxide, because our soccer moms drive more SUVs than anyone else, WE ARE NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. HA HA!! Andrew Revkin, the eco-wacko reporter for the New York Times, has a field day kicking you guys around on that one:
The new document, “U.S. Climate Action Report 2002,” strongly concludes that no matter what is done to cut emissions in the future, nothing can be done to cut emissions in the future, nothing can be done about the environmental consequences of several decades’ worth of carbon dioxide and other heat-trapping gases already in the atmosphere....
Late last week, after it was posted on the Web site of the Environmental Protection Agency, private environmental groups pounced on it, saying it pointed to a jarring disconnect between the administration’s findings on the climate problem and its proposed solutions.
“The Bush administration now admits that global warming will change America’s most unique wild places and wildlife forever,” said Mark Van Putten, the president of the National Wildlife Federation... “How can it acknowledge global warming is a disaster in the making and then refuse to help solve the proble
See what I mean Andrew? While you were looking for Osama bin Laden, your EPA director, Christie Whitman, was sneaking a nuclear device into the UN report. You just cannot trust the lady, I’m afraid, so you either have to find a way to neutralize the damage she has done, or fire her forthwith. The idea that “mankind” causes global warming has always been a dopey idea, but it goes on and on because outfits like Enron have supported the propaganda hoping to make a quick buck by trading hot air. If you really want to do the boss a favor, though, have him announce that it is now in the national interest of the United States to build nuclear power plants all over the country, because they do not emit the dreaded carbon dioxide. You will then see the eco-wackoes go ballistic, because their real intent is not to stop global warming, but to prevent any kind of economic growth that requires energy. “That’s how you can tell an eco-wacko,” says Dr. Gordon Prather, in a column he wrote last year for Worldnetdaily.com. Please read it. Then have everyone in the West Wing and Executive Office Building take a lie-detector test! You must find that sneaky greenie, or you will not be safe from this kind of environmental terrorism!!